infinity.

There is a little someone out there for me. I can feel them - I think the frustrating thing is waiting and then the fear of eventually not finding them. We do have soulmates and just like us; they wait. Perhaps it is enough to feel their presence in our spirits and feel there is a journey that is taking them on a similar path. Or maybe the most beautiful thing of all is the essence.
If we maintain true to ourselves then we will find our true love.

if i've learnt anything.

i want peace and serenity
with someone
who i don't know yet
but i know they are there
perhaps they are in the sea
floating but not swimming
knowing they will come to shore
but not until
they feel
the need
or maybe they are in the dirt
waiting for the sun to allow
them to sprout
and when they do
they will grow quicker than
any other tree
they will soar so high
that i could not miss them
and in that moment
i will know
they have been there for me
and i have been here for them.
-s.e

eph xo.

Be Proud.

I have been on a different planet the past few weeks. Dozing in and out of reality. Adoring the creativity that has been a result of the dream state. However also very much feeling things in an extreme sense.
My brother called me sometime during the past few weeks and told me he had a girlfriend (don't tell anyone cos it's a secret, ha). I was so happy for him. Then when we hung up. I was sitting in my room, in the silence, and tears poured out of me. I don't think I had ever cried that hard, or maybe I had but not for the same expression; I was crying because I shared the experience of a new relationship.
It made me remember that funny feeling in your stomach when you realise you are starting to like someone. It made me think of the 'oh, should I wait 5 minutes before I text him back?' and the 'oh no I so shouldn't have said that'. And the smiles. And the first 'I love you'.
I can't express how much of a blessing it was for me to remember these things. For the past year and half, all I have thought of are the negatives that I had in my last relationship. All I thought of was the break up and the new girl and the stage leading up to the break up. Even if I remembered a positive - it was quickly consumed by a negative.
So what happened, when I hung up the phone and I started crying, was acceptance. And within acceptance there was gratitude. I believe it was the biggest milestone of my life so far. And I have never been prouder of myself and this life that is starting to bloom.

I wrote this the day after:

The belief of insight into other people’s minds has ceased. A more powerful insight has begun. It is not an allowance to never forgive. It is an ability to remember. We are the beauty and we are the not the controllers. It’s no longer the hard copy of the photograph; it is the vivid colours in the kaleidoscope of your mind. Allow the pulsing of stark magnificence amoungst real pain. Feel it. Leave it. Hate it. Come back to it. Rip it up and throw it in the bin. Pull it out of the bin and piece it back together. Put it in the corner. And then when you least expect it – you will accept it and appreciate it for what it was. 
(s.e)

Mesmerised by Dolly

I don't think it would be fair at all for a woman to judge Dolly Parton - she seems to just kick ass! One thing I just can't seem to get over is how absolutely beautiful she was in the 60's/70's. Massively girl crushin' on her right now!

DEM EYESSSSS - AMIRITE?!?!
The reason for this crush is because I watched a documentary about Dolly last week. In it they talked of all of her different songs but particularly 'Jolene' which I ADORE. I was a little disappointed to hear that the song was written after a little girl called Jolene not because that is a bad thing but because it made the song seem like it wasn't as deep as I thought (haha - always for the emotional heart strings). I think because I always felt that I was connecting/relating (and I'm sure many others too) to the feeling that is so clearly portrayed in the song - I'm not pretty enough or good enough for him but she is.
I will be dreaming of Dolly tonight - possibly even might be lucky enough to dream that I had her beauty and lived in the 60's.
Goodnight,
eph xo.

now you do.

I am forever amazed at how a sound or smell can bring back so much more than an image. I feel as though images are snapshots of a moment that are recorded because it is what is expected however a sound or smell is interpreted only by the person who senses it.
I have been a fan of Lana Del Rey for quite sometime and her songs bring me back to a time in my life where I believe no one else but me understands or ever will. The first time I heard 'video games' I was sitting in my ex boyfriends lounge room - he was in the shower listening to the radio and it came on. Hearing the song in the background brings back so many feelings because it wasn't like it was my intention to be listening to it. I was sitting on the couch, in the silence with the sun shining through the windows and all I could hear in the distance was the trickling of the water from the shower and the radio. It was such a beautiful moment in my life - I was in love and I had been through such a hard time before that but I had felt protected and safe in that house. I don't look back on that moment and feel sad (unlike other times)... I look back on that moment and am so extremely happy that it happened. That may seem stupid that it was just an everyday space of time but it meant a lot for me. I suppose that is what I mean by only you understanding the moment that you are living in. And I suppose that is something that everyone has to enjoy - we have to realize that not everything in this world can be shared.
eph xo.

oh sailor

I had a dinner party for no special occasion other than the fact that we were having paella! And it is always necessary to celebrate for paella!

Abby loves it when we have guests!

Also I thought the yellow wattle was so pretty when I went to the Otways a few days prior so my friend and I took a few branches home. It was sitting in a vase in my room and it made my room STINK!! My dad said that there is a reason they don't sell wattle at florists. Bummer. But it didn't smell when it was out in the fresh air and hence it became a part of the center piece!!

Eph xo.

roam free.

I created a little herb garden a few weeks ago. I went to the nursery with the highest hopes of getting basil seedlings so that I could pick the leaves fresh and eat them with bocconcini. Unfortunately for me APPARENTLY basil does not grow well in winter/spring... it is a summer plant! Who'd have thunk it?!

Anyways I over compensated with the loss of the idea of basil and I went a little crazy.

I purchased: parsley, mint, rosemary, sage, thyme, chives, oregano and SNOW PEAS!!!

This is what all the supplies looked like when I bought them home:

I was told that mint and rosemary will need their own pot and the rest can all go in together.

This is what they looked like 1 month ago when I planted them:

So cute. Such lil babes.

And this is what they look like now:

The parsley which was such a lil baby is now MASSIVE and definitely being a wild child. The rosemary has not featured because my dog (Abby) liked the idea of digging in the pot and so unfortunately I need to re-plant that. The snow peas are very cute and growing at a steady pace (no actual pods yet)... snails decided they liked the taste of the leaves but I fixed that issue up ;)

You may notice the spoons in the picture. I made my own 'erb signs using silver spoons I found at the op shop and metal alphabet stamps that I purchased off ebay here ... I got the idea off lovely indeed blog and if you go to that link then you can also make your own!! They were really simple to make and even though mine do not look as polished as I had hoped - practice makes perfect and rustic is just sooooo cool.

Even if you don't like them for yourself - they would make a great gift with a bag of herb seeds that match the signs. They sell them for a lotta money on etsy so your gift would be both $$$$ and from the heart !! They also would make a very cute table place card which I think I am going to explore when I host my next party.

eph xo.

bounce.

i can't stop thinking bout him. and how mean he is. and how i can't stop thinking bout him.


repeat after me: i am free.

breathe in. breathe out.


xo.

all the single ladies.

I've decided i'm going to have a "GANSTA" party for my birthday (which is months away) and I'm going to do the single ladies dance. There. I said it. OHHHHHHHH EPH YOU OUTTA CONTROL MANNNNNNNNN.

xo.

you were only waiting for this moment to be free.

Two days ago I was extremely low. I was sad because I was realising that things were not going how I thought they would. I was overwhelmed by my ex moving on so quickly while I was still stuck at point A.
I cried and cried. Then mum came to the rescue!
My parents were going away to Phillip Island overnight and they asked me if I wanted to come. So I did. It was the best thing that could have happened to me.
We took abby (our dog) and we spent the two days walking along the beach, eating great food and we even went and saw the penguins!! Penguins are such adorable creatures. I felt like a kid again, which was brilliant because there is nothing quite like being comforted by your parents.
I did some shopping today just before we left Cowes and I stumbled upon this gorgeous florist. So I took some photos so you could see. It is called "Tropical Zone Flowers". If you are ever in Cowes, Phillip Island - check it out!

It is such a beautiful shop. Just the right amount of blooms contrasted upon the wood layout. They also sold my favourite GlassHouse candle - "Montego Bay" which is Coconut Lime - so of course I had to buy one!!

I am in day 3 of dry july and still kicking on. However the "i'm gonna stay at home and never leave" thing didn't really work out for me - I DIDN'T EVEN LAST A DAY!! Haha. 

But I have been eating well. I am also trying to give up chocolate for 21 days starting today which sounds simple enough but I am addicted like a crack addict.

I'm gonna dream sweet dreams tonight.

Peace.

eph xo.

thin ice.

alright, it is nearly the end of the 1st day of dry july. and i think i have figured out my problem. i hate the bitch. I HATE HER. and i slightly hate him but not as much. they have moved in together - it's been like 5 months? what?
ANYWAY to try and heal the pain - and to make up to my mother cos i've been yelling at her all day (doing that thing where you push all your anger onto someone who completely doesn't deserve it) - I MADE CORN FRITTERS. Highlight of my life. Unfortunately my family were not as excited as me so I just had to praise myself. "Gosh this is freakin' amazing" "You should make money off these fuckers" "Stop swearing, the corn fritters are getting embarrassed"
So I got the recipe for the fritters off St Ali's webpage. St Ali is this crazy cool cafe in South Melbourne in a big warehouse down a hidden alleyway. It's pretty dope. And their corn fritters recipe is pretty dope too. Check the official one out here. Otherwise you can keep reading and I will tell you how I did it.

INGREDIENTZ:

1 cup of CORN KERNELLZ

1 cup of PUREED CORN (I just used corn kernells from a can and pureed them in my processor)

1 clove of GARLIC

Handful of MINT, FLAT LEAF PARSLEY and CORIANDER

1 tsp CHILLI FLAKES

2 EGGZ

Pinch of SALT and PEPPER

1 cup PLAIN FLOUR (+ you might need more depending on how sticky your batter is)

1 tsp BAKING POWDER

1 tsp BI CARB SODA

1 tsp CASTER SUGAR

 OIL for FRYING.

METHOD:

1. Sift all DRY INGREDIENTZ into bowl.

2. Mix all WET INGREDIENTZ in another bowl.

3. Mix the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients slowly. Assess whether you need to add more flour. The batter should be dry enough to work with but still sticky enough to have a moist end result.

4. Heat OIL in frying pan (about 1cm deep) and spoon batter to fry. Cook for about 2-3 mins on each side and flatten as cooking.

SERVE:

I served mine with bacon and a poached egg. I'm no pro at poaching eggs but I am happy with how mine tastes. If you are not confident enough to poach then you could just fry it. OR you could just eat the fritters by themselves. OR with avocado and tomato. OR google other options cos I'm fresh out! ENJOY!!!!! 

eph xo.

the happiest days of our lives.

I am in lockdown for July. I have told my family that it is Dry July to the extreme. I'm not leaving the house except to walk my dog, feed my rabbits, go to the gym (boo) and drive my brother to his wild parties.
I am over the world (in the bad way not the OH MAH LORD I AM SO OVER THE MOON WITH EXCITEMENT THAT I'M GOING TO JUMP YOUR BONES LIKE A RABBIT) and I want to be consumed with my own mind. I want to test my abilities to create.
Within this month I aim to lose 5 kilos, perfect a graffiti stencil, draw draw draw, build a bunny house, finish a scrapbook for a friends birthday, make headpieces, listen to copious amounts of music, paint my nails once a week, bake bake bake and blog blog blog.
It's been 6 months since the break up - and i'm still talking about it - Move. The. Fuck. On. I tell myself. I hear myself saying to my friends that 'one day' i'll be skinny and 'one day' i'll stop talking about dickface however it seems like 'one day' is not coming. So i'm in forced lockdown mode. So that hopefully, I can find the root of the problem and fix it so that 'one day' will be tomorrow.

(Irina by Abbey McCulloch)

eph xo.

slow.

Hi.
For uni we have to do a stop motion animation and I have been gaining massive inspiration from Rob Ryan and his paper cuts. If you want to see his blog then click here . Below are some of my favourites of his including a custom wedding dress. I really adore the use of words in his art.

I will post up my video for uni if I am proud of it WHICH hopefully I am because at the moment I am pretty impressed of what I have done. And my fingers are killing me from paper cuts - that must be a good sign... right?
eph xo.

back to black.

who is this man and when can he get in my pants?

eph xo.

i hope i never.

Is it ever going to stop bothering me that they are so fucking infatuated with each other?
WHAT THE FUCK. I'm so so so over it. Lyk sahhhh totes ovah it.
But seriously, WHATDAFUCK. It is just bothering me that he can be so fackin' nice to her and was such a complete wanker to me. This leaves me with a complete lack of confidence in ever doing anything nice for anyone ever again.

In other news, I better go to Europe at the end of the year or I'm going to go freakin' mental. Only problem is I have no savings whatsoever but I am 'job hunting' with little success. But I just don't see the end of the year going any other way - except - Europe. Where I will meet the coolest people and I will go to PARIS like I have always always ALWAYS wanted to. And I will meet a french man who skates and smokes all white cigarettes. And who will love me for me. And then when the trip is over I will leave and he will say 'nonono, don't leave my love, stay here and i will teach you to skate and you can smoke as many cigarettes as you want to' and I will say 'i am so so sorry but I have to leave, perhaps one day in the future we will cross paths when the time is right'. And then I will get on the plane and cry a little and then realise that I just KICKED ASS and am the epitome of a free spirited soul and it will make me forever content.

And in MORE other news (totally not right english but lets face it, i'm talking to myself and i like it when I talk dirty)... I am forever in love with Elaine Benes and I have been ever since I watched Seinfield with my dad when I was like 5 years old. So to cheer me and you up... HERE ARE SOME PHOTOS OF THE COOLEST FEMALE TV PERSONALITY (she is pretty much my role model)!

 

eph xo.